6 weeks of being a Mom

I can't believe it's been 6 weeks since Sebastian's birth. He's already fitting into 3month clothes, yet is not a huge chunker or anything. Just growing rather quickly. In a lot of ways, Charlie's and my life has continued mostly the same...don't get me wrong, Sebastian did change things for us; but it hasn't been a huge radical change. Sure, sleep is lost and yes we aren't as free to make random plans on a dime without thinking how much we need regarding bottles and diapers. It's just been easy for us to make room in our life for such a sweet little guy and not be too overwhelmed all the time.

In my 6 weeks of being a Mom, I have discovered:

1.) Take the time to lean on those who offer help in the first couple of weeks, especially in the hospital. Rooming in is great, but getting enough rest while you are still in the hospital is key to making sure you have the strength to keep up with the little one at home.

2.) My husband was already pretty amazing, in my opinion; now I am convinced he's Superman.

3.) Moby wraps or Didymos wraps help keep you and baby happy and close together.

4.) Even in just a onesie, carseats do not breathe well and baby gets super sweaty and miserable.

5.) Baby nails are soft to cut but lethal when not kept trimmed.

6.) Cloth diapering is easier than everyone thinks.

7.) Despite the weeks of fatigue and stress, the first smile you get from him makes it all worth it and makes you forget everything else.

8.) Making time for just my husband and I is a challenge, but as it is the most important relationship, it's more than worth it. Our son will learn about relationships from observing us and we want him to see love and commitment at it's best.

9.) Baby's grow super quick. Cherish.

10.) No matter which one of us he looks like, he's got the best of both us...and unfortunately, our stubbornness.

11.) Bedtime is a battle cause he is still adjusting...but at least we can say that not matter what, our son was a fighter from day one. Hopefully he will always fight for what he wants, so long as he picks the right thing to fight for. ;)

12.) No matter how independent you are, those first few days are tough without your parents. You want them there in that special moment.

All in all, I am loving motherhood. In the last few weeks before his birth I worried endlessly about the type of mom I would be. Or how I would adjust to being a stay-at-home mom since I have been working since I was 15. I am still trying to find my balance with Sebastian, and him with I. There's progress and like I said in number 7...his smile, rare as it is, makes it all worth it. I love watching him grow and discover new things each day. Charlie is an amazing Dad...completely hands-on and it shows when Sebastian sees him after work, he lights up a bit. I love my guys and they love me.

It's a good, good life. :)

Sebastian's Birth Story

I apologize in advance for the length, but at least it's very detailed! :)

Sebastian’s Birth Story

            Sebastian’s birth story starts on the 7^th of July 2012. Charlie and I had been busy all day getting laundry done and various errands in preparation, not only for Sebastian’s arrival, but also for my mother-in-law’s arrival on the 11^th. Sometime around 3p.m. I started having real contractions. Which was super exciting seeing as I had been having Braxton Hicks since week 22. It was nice to know my body was trying to prepare to get him out since I really didn’t want it to come down to having to be induced by the hospital. I had been feeling off the last few days and this day was just the pinnacle of it.

            The contractions were enough to slow us down a little in our errands but we pressed on. We got home sometime around 7 and I went to go lay down for a bit since the contractions weren’t stopping. They were too far apart and very inconsistent so I was not overly worried but I decided to time them nonetheless. I continued to drink water and time my contractions. I chatted with my mom for a little bit and with my friends online. Around 11p.m. they just stopped. Didn’t come back the rest of the night. Charlie and I were a bit baffled but realized that it had given us time to start packing our hospital bags, just in case. Since I had been lying down and Charlie had been busy around the house, neither of us had eaten so we looked up pizza places that would deliver to our home. Since he wanted me to take it easy, we opted to eat in bed and watch some Modern Family and Big Bang Theory on the computer.

            The next morning, 8 July 2012, I woke up feeling just a bit tired. I figured the contractions from yesterday had taken a bit out of me. Charlie and I lay there wondering if we should join my unit for family day in the park out in Mannheim. It was going to take us about an hour to get out there and I was worried that it might be too warm out and that I was just too big and uncomfortable to enjoy it. We opted to stay home so that I could relax and we could keep unpacking our moving boxes and getting our hospital bags ready. We woke at about 8:45a.m. and Charlie finally got up about 9:20. I stayed in, cruising the Internet, checking Facebook and reading on the iPad. I was just about to get up and go hunt up some food at 10am when I felt this urge to lay on my side. I rolled to my right and took a deep breath…not only did I feel it, but I swear I could hear this loud pop sound. Immediately, I felt these bubbles in my belly area and felt a slight gush between my legs. My first thought was, “Get off the bed!” Once I stood up I felt more bubbles and started yelling for Charlie. As I waddled toward the bedroom door, I felt liquid move down my leg. Charlie met me at the bedroom door looking freaked. I told him my water broke and he got into super go-mode and told me to get my stuff quickly. I made him pause for a second cause I got excited enough to cry. Once I collected myself I slowly waddled to the bathroom to clean up a little (this was pointless to do, I discovered later). Charlie went and called the delivery ward at St. Johannis Klinikum where we would be delivering to let them know I was in labor.

            We grabbed our stuff fairly quickly and were out of the house by 11 after double, triple and quadruple checking everything. Knowing our friends’ experiences here in Germany with the birthing process, we knew that the first one could take some time so we ran by the commissary to pick up some water and snacks. Now, I know someone might be reading this thinking we were crazy to not rush off to the hospital as soon as possible but our doctor had told us at my last appointment that I was in a position to take my time getting there since I was already at 1cm dilated. I wasn’t having contractions until Charlie was in the store and then they started coming. I began timing them again just to see where I was at, roughly 5 minutes apart and lasting for a minute. To be honest, I am glad we stopped because the water and food came in handy much later.

            We walked into labor and delivery at 12 noon on the dot. Immediately I was hooked up to the Doppler to monitor Sebastian’s heartbeat and they hooked up my IV port, just in case they might need it. After some monitoring and a physical exam, the midwife and doctor told us that his head had moved a little and that he needed to drop down a little more. They asked us to go take a walk and try to wiggle him down a little and see if I would dilate more since I was still sitting at 1cm. So, I got unhooked and Charlie and I decided to go walk outside since I was feeling warm and the fresh air might be nice. They asked us to come back at 2pm for more monitoring to see how we were progressing. Before we went outside they showed us which room I would be staying in after so that if we decided to go get things from the car I could stick them in the closet.

            So, we began walking and paused for one more pregnant me photo in front of the hospital’s fountain at the main entrance. The contractions were very strong and I was just so uncomfortable. Nothing really felt good, except the cool breeze blowing around on this cloudy day. We made our way down the stairs to the parking lot, stopping every so often for contractions. Charlie would hold me during them, since it was getting harder for me to keep standing through them and squatting or sitting wasn’t anymore comfortable than standing. We made it to the car, where we agreed to just grab the water and snacks; Charlie was worried that I was feeling weak due to the lack of food in my system as I had not had breakfast and we were well past lunch time. I did have about half a bottle of Berry Blast Naked juice so at least I had a smoothie-like drink going for me. As we walked back to the main entrance, I told Charlie I was really hurting and wanted to see if maybe laying on my side might help. I was feeling a bit tired and the discomfort was making me feel really edgy. We got into my room and Charlie helped me lay down…this lasted for all of one contraction. I had had enough. I wanted the birthing tub. Charlie checked the time and it was a quarter to 2pm so we figured they wouldn’t mind checking me a little earlier than they wanted. We went back to Labor and Delivery and got hooked back up to the Doppler and had another physical exam. I was now at 2cm and the midwife said Sebastian was doing excellent. She said he had dropped down again and that we just might have him out before midnight. Charlie and I were excited to hear this and I asked her when I might be able to get into one of the birthing tubs since it was my hope to have a water birth or at least do the bulk of my labor in the water. I was hoping to avoid medications but knew that I could reach a point where I might want them so they were not 100% off the table as an option. She said I needed to be monitored for another 10 minutes before they could put me in the tub and she would be able to provide us with some aromatherapy options as well.

            Shortly, before the 10 minutes was up I told Charlie that I was going to be sick. He looked puzzled since we were so early into the labor, he really didn’t think I would feel sick until much later. Nonetheless, I threw up my berry smoothie and Charlie called the midwife back in the room. They looked at my contractions and Sebastian’s heartbeat and said we were progressing well but if I wanted the tub I had to wait another 15 minutes since I had thrown up. She was concerned that if she put me in the warm water, that I would just get sicker or get too lightheaded and possibly pass out. I agreed to keep sticking it out, I was hell bent on getting in the water. Charlie grabbed a water bottle for me to keep me hydrated so that I could try and make it to the tub. Halfway through the 15 minutes, I got sick again and again the midwife said we were still doing fine…she would prep the tub but I really had to try and not get sick again or the tub was off the table. Charlie wanted me to drink a little more water and I refused mostly cause I could feel that I was teetering on the edge in those last few minutes. Finally, the timer went off and they hooked me up to the wireless Doppler and we were on our way to the tub. They had me go to the bathroom first so I wouldn’t slip trying to get out after getting in the water should I need to pee later; also to insert a vaginal suppository that was going to help me dilate more. Charlie helped me get undressed…the contractions were enough to have me closing my eyes at this point.

            That first moment when my foot touched the delightfully warm water was enough to make me want to weep with gratitude. As I eased into the water I could feel my back relax a little more and just about every muscle in my body go a little lax. It was wonderful. For some reason though, I forgot how to cope with my contractions and messed up on my breathing over the next few but between Charlie and the midwife I got back on track quickly. At this point, it was about 3:30-4pm…time gets a little fuzzy at this point, due to my eyes being closed a lot during the contractions and when they were open I was focused in on the monitor waiting for the next contraction to build. The midwife checked me again after being in the water for an hour. We went from 2-3cm (almost 3 when we got in the water) to 5 almost 6 cm. I reached my limit when we hit a solid 6 and asked if we had time for medications. I was whimpering my way through some contractions and figured I had done pretty well, but discomfort and the pain were getting to be too much. She calmly explained that I was simply progressing too fast for the drugs to make a difference at all. She said that with my fast progression that they baby would be here within a few hours and I really just needed to focus my energy toward getting him here. She also pointed out that at this point, the meds might just slow me down and prolong the agony. I looked at Charlie and he simply said, “You’re doing great without them. You can do this.” I agreed and began to collect myself; almost in the way that I focus myself for a grueling task or, as corny as it sounds, when I am weightlifting and struggling through it. Charlie told me later in the recovery room that once I did that, I started handling the labor very differently. I had more control it seemed to him. All I remember at this point was that my last conversation with my dad and him telling me to remember that I didn’t really need the drugs and that they would just slow me down. This kind of became my mantra. The midwife and Charlie turned the water back on to get some more warm water in the tub since it had cooled off some.

            The midwife had left to get prepared and I believe it was around 5pm at this point. Charlie and I were on our own again in the pool room. The soft lights in there were nice and I think helped keep me a little more calm than I was feeling earlier. Charlie and I were taking turns sharing the water bottle; I was still sipping slowly trying to avoid anymore vomiting. The urge to push was starting to come around 5:20-5:30; again time is a bit hazy. There was a clock but I was deep in my own concentration or focused on Charlie, cause I realized how tired he was getting and I kept thinking how hungry he must be too at this point (odd I know to be worried about him while I am in labor but hey, what can I say except that we’ve always been a team and look out for each other always). I was not in pain anymore. I just had a lot of pressure in my hips, back, and obviously in my lady bits. I do remember my contraction at 10 minutes to 6pm and the urge to push was insane. I had Charlie call the midwife back in. She had checked me earlier at the 5:20 mark and had been telling me to not push yet cause I was only at 8-9cm. Now I was at 10cm and Sebastian was already starting to make his way out so she gave me the go ahead to push but only when the urge was great. Which was pretty much all of them I remember only have 3 contractions from this point until the time he was out that I did not feel the urge to push. She stayed for 2 of the contractions and was helping Charlie coach me through the pushing. We once again, warmed up the water to help keep me relaxed and the midwife slipped back out to get an oil to help make my contractions last a little longer so that I could get the most out of my pushing. Let me just say to those who think holistic medicine is bologna; you couldn’t be more wrong. This stuff worked. The midwife had Charlie hold the gauze pad that was soaked in this citrus smelling oil in front of me between contractions then remove it during the contraction. It was crazy how much longer the contractions were lasting.

At 6:45pm, the midwife said that my position in the tub was not going to help get Sebastian out and since I was uncomfortable in any other position in the tub that we were going to go back to the delivery room to deliver him. Charlie smiled at me and told me that if Sebastian came out before 8pm that we could have Johnny Rocket burgers for dinner to celebrate. We both smiled since we were both pretty hungry. Charlie and the midwife dried me off and slipped a hospital gown on me. We walked slowly to the room. I got up on the birthing bed, which for my audience in the U.S. looks like this weird circular bed that changes angles and whatnot. Birthing in Germany is not done on your back, as I am about to explain. They had me climb up on the bed, facing the back of the bed so that I was on my knees, leaning forward so that when I would push, I was to lean downward and rock back toward my heels. I hated this position. They had me in this position only for 3 contractions since Sebastian cooperated and was right there and ready. They had me turn over and raised the back of the bed so it was more recliner chair-like and my feet were braced on the slightly lower level of the bed. After one contraction and 3 pushes in this position, the doctor and midwife told us his head was right there, 3 more pushes and he’d be out. I got really excited, as did Charlie. They asked Charlie if he wanted to see the top of the head. He said yes and took a look, right then I got hit with another contraction and began pushing again, pulling my legs toward me as instructed. Three pushes and he was not out, but he was close. They asked if I wanted to touch the head or see it. I said no, mostly because I just wanted him out and in my arms. They kept encouraging me to look or touch and I argued my way into the next contraction where the doctor and midwife had their hands in and started to help pull his head out. At the end of the first push I was doing this growling/yelling thing. They told me not to scream, I kept thinking I wasn’t but Charlie still seems a bit skeptical at this statement. I started the next push and again at the end was growling/yelling and then both Charlie and the midwife got really excited and said the head was out. I could feel that there was a lot less pressure. They told me not to push at this point and I was able to hold back until the next contraction and urge to push came. It was so strong and I really couldn’t hold back; but they went with it and with that, he was out.

“Sebastian!” Was all I could say. He was gorgeous. His eyes were open and he was just looking around and the doctor and midwife cleared out his nose and mouth. They gave him a little rub and he moaned which was enough to have them laying him on my chest and stomach. I remember grinning at Charlie who was just beside himself. We just sat there loving on him, kissing his hands and head while talking to him. One thing I do remember was that I was not at all surprised to see his face. It was like I had seen him before. Instant recognition, no hesitation whatsoever. Charlie and I chuckled as his color started coming in, pointing out that he looked like a little blue smurf. The staff told us he was born at 1908 (7:08pm). He was 52cm and 3870grams; which works out to about 20.5 inches and 8lbs 8oz. I delivered the placenta about 30-40 minutes later. We spent quite a bit of time just the three of us in recovery, enjoying our first few moments as a new family.

Sebastian Lukas, I hope someday you will read this story about your birth and know that your father and I will always remember this day. We waited so long for you and you are nothing but a pure joy and a complete blessing to us both. We love you very much and will always be proud of you. All our love, Mom and Dad.